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PLEASE TAKE IT BACK.. I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE......please.. woots! i'm back..hmm.. okay, there's school tmr..plus training(most probably..)....hmm..today just slacking bah..haha i love slacking! yeah btw,to xinni: i found the bottle near my bag:) hees..so careless,never see.. your towel was worse.. found it in open air..it was kind of damp and yucks man!
haha..okay..to those who know you are involved, LET'S KEEP OURSELVES TOGETHER! don't even think of giving up yeah?..we'll pull through together alright?..hmm..keep it strong..cos WE CAN!
okay,actually i don't have much to say, just that.. okay i add on..since the first CTs are over, going to work real hard cos i know i lagging behind..not going to let myself deterioriate any further..made a pact..going to work towards that goal :)
In the mean time, i'm going to change..hopefully into someone better..lend me support yeah?.. so,.......yeah..sorted out my thinking.. FOR ONCE, I KNOW THAT I AM.. hey..yay..MY BOTTLE IS NO LONGER MISSING! found it just now..thank goodness..well, had training just now..super slack but i feel tired sia...only train cgirls la..supposed to have our own training but end up only like six came? then was reduced to four after guihua and amanda left for cip..okay so it was a waste of time.... hey but it wasn't that bad la.. since coach treated us to bubble tea!! first-time i experience his generosity man!..haha so yeah...wasted my saturday...next week still got something up on saturday, school cip from what i heard....oh man...more sleep being deprived from me...haix.. hmm..damn tired now sia.......really man, this week's been quite crazy for me..everything seems to be falling back into place, though no effort has been put in..it's like, kind of miraculous yet, seem real enough... i really appreciate you guys man..you all are always there for me, unconditionally..though i may not seem to appreciate the things that you all do, i feel grateful already by your presence..i don't want to end up taking things for granted..therefore, i truly believe in thanking everyone who have made or even attempted in making me feel the way i am now, truly blessed and contented.. thanks man!you guys are the best.. hey.. back.. i mean, my spirits back.. my fighting spirit..or at least, i call it "my drive".. it's back, and thank goodness for that!.. thought that i would have to miss the race.. the LIFE race..... had training just now..okay la,normal.. but kind of not liking the feeling already.. It's not the same anymore.. i guess, i'm too scared to raise any high hopes, for the fall that i've experienced before, was too great that it still lingers in my thoughts... LOST MY BOTTLE! so pissed........ ATTENTION!: IF ANYONE HAD SEEN A WHITE(TRANSPARENT)-COLOURED NIKE WATER BOTTLE, PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP.. BEEN MISSING SINCE: FRIDAY,22ndFEB2008 17.39PM LAST SEEN IN BPGHS PLEASE INFORM ME IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WHEREABOUTS OF MY LOVED WATER BOTTLE.. PLEASE COME BACK, MY BOTTLE! YOUR OWNER IS MISSING YOU.......... Haha..whatever la..crapper sey me.. aiyo..but i seriously missed it....haix......... okay haha..can tell i'm quite happy at the time being..just hope it lasts.... hmm.. i don't think i'm ready yet..............hai..... hmm..so damn tired sia..just back from training and i can tell you one thing; IT'S NOT SLACK!! haix..okay not going to elaborate on it..
hmm..i saw what you wrote... well, honestly, i didn't realise that what i said affected you so much..i talked about her cos i thought you were willing to hear about my life..what i am happy about, for once.. guess i was wrong..actually..there was a point of time where i felt that i was talking too much about her...and was waiting for you to stop me, like how the rest would..but you didn't, so i thought it was okay..haix, guess i was wrong again..i'm really sorry, that i was too much.. hmm.. on a personal basis, i really do want to have good conversations with you again..like old times?..hmm..will be waiting for you to forgive me..i hope.....
and yeah, i'm dedicating this whole post for you..hope you can feel my sincerity! btw..i have her lesson tmr..HAHA JUST KIDDING! reply yeah? hoo.. common tests' tmr, don't know what i'm doing here... hmm..i feel the urge to study but i just can't do that anymore..a certain 'mental boundary' is obstructing my way and i'm not strong enough to overcome it..oh man..i need strength.. okay, going to sit for english and social studies tmr..though i am clear about this two subjects, i don't know why my heart keeps beating so fast..it's been a long time since i last had this feeling of anxiety..HELP!HELP!HELP! guess, i can only depend on myself now.. FARA, MUST STAY STRONG!! okay, mstay says that the strongest is also the weakest...pretended not to understand though i did..maybe you don't know, but i love this kind of profound stuff..i can link anything to everything you know...haha.. for the time being, i need to go through this on my own..if i can't let all these feelings out, then no matter how hard you try to help, it will never work for me..the only solution is deep, down inside of me..let me find the answer myself........ .DREAM TEAM'09. Are you up for it? hey.. am back.. hmm..today went to watch b'girls finals.. it was obvious that jurong wasn't in any position to allow the championship to go to them again..they proved to be to strong for bp to handle la..hmm..but,..aiya don't want talk about this.. Then went back to school cos need to bring my books home..then c'girs got training too so took the bus back..then in school decided to train with them..but got bored halfway..so sian la..skali ended up i spent the time talking to mstay..realised that i was still not ready for the real world.. argh....i hate being like this.. okay larh,the went back to the hall to play for a while before going lot1 with her.. when reach MRT there,we saw stelle and ly at yami yogurt..then mstay go home, i went to lot1 to find they all...true enough, they were at long john............................... talked and talked until 8.30..then go home..at the interchange, saw ly..she going home too so,..homed together.... haix.. i'm still wondering if i'm up for it..actually, i don't give a damn for nationals this year..afterall i didn't earn it,so..yeah..whatever.. What WE'RE really training hard for is the DREAM TEAM.. msg to you(if you know who you are):Pls don't let what people say affect you. we're in this together and we welcome you with open arms. we will not abandon you la..And, whatever those people said to you, it's all out of JEALOUSY, not concern.. So let's work hard people,don't be slack..we must earn everything that we want..we shall bring glory to the school and volleyball..for vincent and jh.. okay? dont't let our bond be broken easily by those who are plainly jealous..get it back! get it back! get it back! WU ZHONG, ACE!!! wah..just realised somebody actually already know about it..good la,for at least i can heave a sigh of relief..no more burden of carrying that theory anymore since it's proven..btw,..i'll be glad if you really do that..we, attitude? yeah, you're right! we are..not that we do it on purpose,but..that's us..so before you come and criticise us, TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELF. you're nowhere better yourself..and what's wrong with having a goal? it's something that WE WANT to achieve..none of your business anyway,so why bother? hah,thought you weren't what they claimed you were...but,....you just made yourself appear low-life..hai,seriously..i try to take pity on you. Oh........YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Am i relieved!..thank goodness there's school tmr..i can't imagine what i'd turned into if the break was any longer..sia la..i love school..i mean, the training part.. okay.. haven't been updating for quite some time..three days?..hmm.. seriously, i've been doing nothing but eat,sleep, comp..eat,sleep, comp..so sian arh.. was like rotting for two days?? at home.. like wth.. i thought i nearly died..then ytd went out.. was like THANK GOODNESS!! hadn't been feeling the warmth of the sun for very loooooononnnnnnggggggggggg...eeyerh.. i sound as if i've been deprived of it for weeks or months.. but seriously i wasn't exaggerating about the 'relieved' part.. oh sharks! haven't touch my homework yet.. but i know which one to do first; SBQ... hah.. then compo.. on GREED.. quite fair enough..then do maths lor(was so due in days ago..)hah.. yay, i'm so looking-forward to training tmr.. although i know vincent would only care about some people.. oh man!!! I WANT HIM TO TRAIN US(FULLY) AGAIN!! MISS his crazy and unreasonable PTs..can die one la..but,..if you want to survive, must train SMART, and not just do the rounds.. it can be totally unrealistic but it helps :) (for now, MUST ENDURE...........) Hey.. i'm back again.. don't know why i'm posting now but wth.. since i was thinking, then might as well i write my thoughts down.. eh before i forget, today is HAZIRAH'S BIRTHDAY.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hmm.. was thinking about lots of stuff, mainly prior to volleyball.. had not been having training lately and i'm really getting restless.. i hate holidays.. especially those without any training at all.. sia la.. i really can't do this, as in live without volleyball... guess this is withdrawal symptom bah =X gosh.. this seriously suck! put aside the negativity, i am really looking forward to THE DREAM TEAM.. Later part this year.. sure fun and solid de lah.. let's dominate and CONQUER!........... HAHA..but seriously,.. this is something that we've been waiting for all these while, eversince we didn't make it to nationals TOP4 as c'girls.. it's our turn to make a comeback... WE WILL RETURN WITH A SURPRISE..to avenge our loss nearly a year ago..of course there'll be some changes..that's inevitable, but we'll try to keep it as little as possible.. so i guess..WATCH OUT FOR BP AS WE RETURN WITH A BBAAANNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!! and preferrably now, with numbers at the front of our jerseys..hahaa... and.. one more thing,.. i've been noticing your injured ankle.. rest well and i really hope to see you again yeahs?.. take care ss.. bye! I AM HAPPY AGAIN! yay.. everything's back to normal le.. i hope this will not be only temporary..hmm.. RECENT UPDATES: B'girls got into finals after defeating shuqun- such a close shave! although i believe it was due to shuqun making too many mistakes and attitude players?? no comments sia.. later kena sue.. she very poor thing lah.. ankle like became worse..haix.. kind of pissed cos didn't get a chance to play with her in the same court..(but wait for me,..i'll be waiting for the time we meet again in the same court!) (For the time being, i'll continue to impress..haha) Didn't do anything much the past few days.. training has been very seldom.. and it's chinese' new year today.. so will be slacking for four days..since there's no school nor training.. haaix.. i really don't know what to do sia.......... kenny say go sleep.. like wth? for four days???! siao arh..hah.. ms tay called me on tuesday.. was in the toilet la.. asked me about the .... Call already then laughed like siao char bo! crazy.. haha.. very hard to decide whether or not to tell her.. in the end,.. made her go online to tell her one by one.. she thought i didn't the meaning of 'fingers crossed' lah.. like wth?..am i that stupid?.. haha.. don't say yes cos i know that's what you think..haha! hmm.. that's it lah.. nothing much happened.. cny de holidays so damn long..argh~~~ what to do??????? okay lah..next time then post again..bye.. LET'S GROW UP TOGETHER. i don't know why things turned out this way.. this sucks but i don't know what's wrong.. i didn't know what i did in the first place that got you so upset.. please i don't want it to be like this.. for what holds for me in the future, i'm willing to give it all up just to be back with you.. i'm unsure if you know me well enough, to know that i hate doing this.. i'm not someone who hates without reason.. and,.. if i had wanted the whole world to know..i'll quote your name.. but fact is,..i didn't.. at first, i thought it was just a small matter..that's why i told xinni not to worry.. that's why i asked you to go home and think about it.. cos i thought it was a minor problem.. and that it will soon blow away.. but it didn't.. I'M SORRY IF I HAD HURT YOU.. FOR A SIMPLE REASON I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND BEFORE..I'M WILLING TO APOLOGISE IN PUBLIC.. I'M WILLING TO DO THIS.. FOR WHAT I DID,... I SERIOUSLY DON'T HAVE A CLUE.. please forgive me my friend, let's sit down and talk.. whatever i wrote before in this blog of mine, it's just to let off the steam.. of being wrongedly accused..(i'm sure that's something you don't know)..i cried for us..for your info, it hurts me to see us like this.... (you know i don't cry, but the fact that i did,..i'm truly sincere)..you may choose to ignore, you may choose not to believe.. you're free to think i'm shedding crocodile tears for you.. whatever you wish to think, feel free.. i can't stop you.... if that's what you want, then.. what else can i do?.. haix..what kind of shit did i get myself into?? i hate hating people, especially those who are very dear to me..but why did i do that?? perhaps,..i got too frustrated filling in all the blanks myself.. Till now, i am touched to know that i had once made you feel secure by you just having to look at me.. if you were serious about what you said,..i really felt the connection..... always felt that our characters clash, as none of us would give in.. since as cgirls,..we have fought countlessly..but we made up.. we always do... but,..what happened just recently?? why did it have to change? it's not your fault.. perhaps it's mine..if it's really mine,.... I AM SORRY. i have always imagine us, waking up each day and looking forward to seeing ecah other without fail.. hey.. can't believe it.. 15years.. I'M OLD.. but who cares??haha..ms tay's older..hmm.. jokes aside.. reALLY HONESTLY, can't believe they would do this to me.. on my birthday eve.. ended up i was nearly alone(if not for gui hua)..haix.. I'M UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED.. What did i do wrong?! it's frustrating not to know what you did in the first place that got the rest hate you so much..what's more you don't even know what was going on.. haix..seriously this birthday would be one i won't forget..not because it's memorable in a good way or anything,but..because it was the first time i'm celebrating without the true joy..little did i expect that things would turn out this way... What kind of friends did i make?? ONE, gets annoyingly angry over something i, myself, is unsure of.. THE REST,..didn't even put in any effort to help enlighten me.. leaving me to pick up all the pieces up alone..what is this?? Is this the friendship that took me so much sacrifices just to keep it going?? Is this what i gave everything else up for?? Is it??... haix.. don't make me regret the tears that i cried.. do't let me regret making these friends that i did.. don't make me..regret.. If it's this that i get in return of my commitment then i'm ready to let it go anytime.. Since we can't even get it going then might as well just remember them as memories.. cos i seriously don't wish to regret going through the things we did..please..just let me off........ and by the way, thank you for showing me the true colours of our so-called "friendship"... seriously, THANKS ALOT. hey.. hmm..saddening that the day had to end up with these unpleasant bickerings..i don't know why but,. it seems that the thrash-out session that we had did not help.. situation's getting worse and i can't help but being too straight with my words.. but let me get this straight: I'M NOT A PUSHOVER. DON'T EXPECT ME TO GIVE IN cos i'm sick and tired of being the one who keeps doing that.. pls spare a thought for me. i had no idea what was going on, but you just had to accuse me of breaking the team apart. i don't know what you want and please la.. GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT FIRST BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK OF TAKING PITY ON YOURSELF.. THAT'S UTTERLY P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C! GO HOME AND THINK IT STRAIGHT.. if you don't want it to happen to you, i suggest you DON'T DO IT TO OTHERS.. i hate you being like this.. don't be a bitch.. we can still talk things over once you CAN THINK PROPERLY.. if you don't even care, trust me, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU EITHER!! STOP ACTING PATHETIC, IT'S DISGUSTING! |
