A DAY GONE TO WASTE.

hmm..

don't know what's wrong with me.. why can't i just do any work without feeling distracted..

grr..i'm pissed man.. another day wasted just like that..........

i want to do work but i can't stay focus..

keep paying attention to unimportant things..

i'm going berserk!

yeah man! sports carnival is coming..next week, friday..at ccab...eh? same venue as nationals right?..hmm..i don't know..that's what i heard..

WE WILL WIN.

haha..confident sey..hah, hmm.. but it's kind of lame la.. from what i heard, 3-5mins per game?? play what shit? haha..can't be..don't tell me they can't afford to book the court longer?? please la..zzz

hmm..

trying my best to stay happy..

hmm..

made a new buddy buddy.. it feels great, to know that you have one more friend around..

haha.

(for the time being, i shall not disclose who it is!)

ROTTING~Zzzz.....

hmm.. school end le bah? should be.. now can go back sleep............

haiyo, wake up so early to go litespeed do work..getting fed up cos a bit not practical la!

sian.

rather go school..at least can disturb people..now, want to talk to ants also cannot! tsk. why the hell did they make us stay at home today?? stupid.. should make us stay like on saturday what.. eh? okay okay saturday no school...see la! one day never go school i become like this...hai....

there's nothing worth doing now, except sleep.

sian lor! !$%$#@@!@#

can we have training now??

just anything to get me out of the house is fine with me....

come on man! you guys free mah?

hai..extended weekends, AGAIN. like last week.. next week maybe same sia..

DAMN.

i HATE not going out.

can i do something more constructive, besides sleeping?? or work??

tired tired..

burned out.

bored.

suddenly i have the urge to fly a kite...Zzzzzz..

okay okay.. before i say something which i shouldn't i better go..

later!

HAHA.

what irony.. hah..gone to waste? whatever.. i wasn't very into it anyway, so not really affected bah.. hmm..

it's e-learning day tmr.. yay? no way! sian lor..will be rotting in front of the laptop.....Zzz.. while teachers, go build sandcastles.. haha! actually, i'd rather go beach la........ at least can have fun?..haha.

bet that everyone will be posting answers on their blogs, again.. good good..must inform me tmr!

next up, SPORTS CARNIVAL.

yeah man! now that's excitement! haha.. hope 3M2 can go far~~~~~~~~

haha.

okay,later!

(p.s. SS Essay test 3April'o8 after YMP-half an hour)

Tired.

my muscles feels funny..aching a little..wth.

hmm..you've been down these few days..i really want to cheer you up..trying my best, hope you'll get over this soon alright? seeing you like this, i don't feel at ease..whenever you need someone, i'll be here okay? do whatever you want..vent it on me, or beat me up..i don't mind.. anything to make you feel better..

hadn't had proper training..no venue.. so shitty la.. hope we'll get a good training soon! before thursday...

feeling much better these days.. i think what she said works for me.. don't think so much, just do whatever it is that you have to..it's better that way..

okay okay..i know i'll have to stand up again on my own someday..no point delaying it..procrastination kills.

trust me.

CHANGED SONG.

HAPPY NOW..

haha..i don't wan to entertain those sad thoughts in my head..

All i want to do now is to live each second with every little bit of happiness and excitement that i can possibly express!

NO MORE SADNESS.

NO MORE EMO(yucks!)

i'm finally able to put all those past behind, as i move on to start a new page of my life..

sorry i took so long..to think over my thoughts!..now, i won't have to miss the race.

feels good to be happy.

i'm genuinely happy.

everything's beginning to fall back into place...

thank goodness for everything..

i'm thankful that they happened.

aha..feeling good!

good.

good.

wow, life's great!

hmm..

this song, truly brings out the guilt in me..after all the bad things i've before..

if you bother to listen to it closely,..you'll feel a somewhat remorse, doing or thinking of doing the things that were against your conscience....

it's as if, the song is pulling you back to the right path, where you should be heading...

i have a confession to make.

i've let my friends down,

my parents down,

my teachers down,..

and most disappointingly,

MYSELF down...

what should i do to get back on track?

how should i go about doing it?

where can i find the will to pull me through?

is there anyone out there who can haul me up?

or am i alone?

alone in this darkness that i set myself in...

will i be unable to see that ray of light ever again?

hmm.

FAILURE- one word descibes it all.

screwed up big time today man! pulled everyone down..today's loss was my fault..that, is needless to say..I'M REALLY SORRY. i'm not going to promise better performance but i will try my best..disappointing.

okay okay! DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS.. hmm..today, i'm quite..SENTIMENTAL, not emo arh.. thought of the past and stuff..and she told me this, "Don't think so much, just do it!" like Nike de motto or something right?..haha..but i feel that it's relevant...enough.

two days ago, went on a TOAD HUNT. very exciting.....(only cy and hazirah know about this man!)they were in it too..haha! cy took some pics(want to see then go her blog..) so fun man! haha..

these few days, been experiencing much change of emotions..very big changes..haha..PMS? hmmm.....

Maybe.

anyway, been sleeping early these days too..don't know why..too tired bah..but sleeping really is nice :) haha..

okay..that's it for now..

That's it.. i'm not going to do anything..

oh darn it i'm sleepy..what can i do? you tell me..sian..

at least,..school starts tmr..i don't have to think of stuff to do since it's already been fixed anyway.. -wake up, go to school..sit in classroom for six and a half hours..then lunch..training after that.. by then, i believe i'd be too tired to do anything else but sleep! isn't that just great??

not everyone gets to enjoy my kind of school life..so i'm considered lucky?? damn. i'm getting more and more sarcastic..haha..but seriously..after getting used to it, you'll learn to like it..

hmm..so for today, have to endure life..and make my own plans/choices..to spend the day.. or else i'll rot! *sigh* i just have to do that..

let me see..what can i do after this? sleep?..nah..maybe later..eat?..nah..already eaten lunch..work?..don't wish to talk about it...hmm..okay okay..i know what to do le.....

hehehe.

hmm okay..maybe later will blog somemore?..if i have really ran out of things to do, i'll come back..haha..wu liao de..

okay later!

hmm..

so sian LOR..at home..freaking cold somemore...i'm falling sick....

planned to finish up work but i'm too tired....hah..need to snap out of this..

bloody hell.

feeling a little mono-syllabic today..

see.

don't know why.

okay, let's see...

Events coming up:

• Nationals(Quater Finals?)
• Sports Carnival
• Youth Day?
• Midyear Exams
• Outward Bound......

For now, i think that's about it for term2..not much huh?..

btw I AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO OBS...

don't know why, but there's really no excitement..if i'm being given a chance not to go, i won't go de.....

haha..hmm...hai i guess it's time to go back to the boring life..of not doing anything, other than slacking..

BOREDOM KILLS. suck.

[GONE too long...]

hey..

here i am again..

hmm..today, had training- full day la..damn tired out now..although didn't really do much......or is it just me?..hmm..whatever it is, I AM TIRED.

but, quite worth it cos that means there's no training tmr! yeah man..like, how often do i get to say that?...hah.

hmm..set everyday now very sian of it le..really man..hai..i think i even prefer service to setting now? haha wth..

okay,..so no training tmr..no training..NO training......how great is that?!

haha..i think in a way, we're kind of pathetic cos while others are enjoying the ONE-WEEK BREAK, we are down here rejoicing over the fact that we could have a ONE-DAY BREAK??! HMM....a bit..yeah you get what i mean..

so its A Maths DAY tmr! a whole day of chapter4..going through it for the first time..eh?? no wonder i failed the tests! HAHA. i don't even know what's going on la........-.-

btw today is AMANDA'S BIRTHDAY..."HEY AMANDA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"-favourite phrase for today! haha..

[YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR QUITE AWHILE..YOU'RE COMING BACK RIGHT..SOON..FOURTH DAY APPROACHING.....]

[DON'T FORGET me WHEN YOU'RE BACK........]

hah..tsk..

it's a waste that someone so talented would resort to such means...so disappointing..what a pity!

shan't elaborate on that..not in the mood..pissed sia..

sucker.

hai, i just feel that what xinni said today was right..i know she tried hard to encourage me and stuff, saying all that could help, even making the worst seemed nice...like the enzyme-substrate analogy..that was interesting yet it made lots of sense...hmm..thanks yeah, buddy!

tmr, full day..crazy..another frantic day for me.....

i don't wish to hang on sometimes..for the way they made me feel, it's as if i'm just struggling to merely breathe in air to survive....so pathetic..

argh..whatever man! i won't waste time thinking of such things...

i know that someone would want me to do the same..

[third day soon..come back arh!]

hey........

there's training today, like...OBVIOUSLY. damn...haha..

shouldn't make it so frequent..that time i once told duno-who that we go training more than we visit the toilet?? that sounded wrong, very wrong..haha..

hmm...can feel the difference now..am losing friends cos of the way i act...and when i realised it, it was too late..now i feel like i'm dangling on a piece of thread, any vigorous moment would set me off...falling onto the verge of sanity..

i don't blame anyone for the state i'm in now...i had it coming..serve me right..

too bad its too late..

i can make amends but,..what for? it will still end up like this..

haix..sometimes i don't understand..after taking pains to make things right for them,..when everything's okay between them, i get dumped aside?! like what ass man??

hmm..perhaps,it is a result of my own doing..if it is, i have only myself to reproach...

NO ONE ELSE.

[Btw it's the 2nd day..hope you come back soon.]

hmm..

watched step up2 online yesterday..not bad la..worth the watch..

SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. SCHOOL HOLIDAYS....

don't feel like one....

haix..bored man..everyday also like this......sian..........

went RI for some translation competition..was okay la..cos i like translating stuff, from one language to another...but i really hope i dont win anything this year cos i hate that place man..so freaking far la! anyway, dont think it's worth the trip..first prize also is just book voucher and some big dumb-ass trophy..what's the big deal sia??

aiyo,so budget...

spent two entire days slacking like obody's business..really tired of it..cant wait for a goood training tmr, and the day after, and the day after that, and....yeah,get the picture? haha..

match's coming, don't know when..but should be the week after holidays..two wins away from top4......hope we can redeem the mistakes that we'd made last year,which prevented us from getting into top4 as cgirls..hope i'm ready......

and yeah, btw..happy diving mstay!

hmm...

back here again..i'm like glued to the comp right now..have a lot of stuff to do but,yeah..i'm still here..had training just now..well,..sort of..the last half an hour was considered training la..farah should know..

and..it's the start of march holidays, marking the end of term1..results are shit..have to start working..playtime's over..

hai..though it's school holidays, i don't feel happy or anything..damn sad instead cos there's some things now that i cant do..have to wait till term2 starts...

okay, so yeah..we got into nationals TOP8 le..matches after holidays..hah..yeah..

i'm going to keep up to her expectations.. going to work hard, no more slacking..i must get back into the ring..cant slack anymore..or else i'll be left out..so useless la,the feeling.....

i'm bored man! hmm..okay la..going to have dinner soon.....later!

hey, back..

just got back from sijia's house..went there to do read project,but i ended up doing kenny's Amaths homework? haha..they were playing poker or something, while i was watching the movie 'Casino Royale'..kind of interesting, if you're into action-kind-of stuff..ELIPSIS...sian la, one homework also i haven't touch..die..so sleepy now, less than 12hrs to waking up for school?..Zzzzz..

there's match with phs tmr..but somehow or rather, i don't feel anything..i won't be the one fighting alongside with them anyway, at least,..that's how i feel..hai...

have to make myself look forward to tmr..another brand new day..better start on the right foot arh,fara....though, i really can't think of anything to delude myself into thinking that way..aiya, why? why? why?

i think i'm a changed person now..and i like it this way..i don't and won't care about how people perceives me, for that is the person i ought to be proud of..i'm living this life, ultimately, for myself and NOT for them..so there shouldn't be any reason why these things should bother me..

(i'm sorry to those whom i have offended along the way..too bad la..whatever i'd done or say, i can't swallow it back right? so,..sorry you just have to live with that.......)

hoots...

today, cip..had fun(?)yeah..sort of..hmm..i don't remember anything else other than slacking at the void deck?..haha crapped ALOT..with ms.YOUKNOWWHO...haha..you know who i'm talking about la..confirm de..talked about random stuff, all completely crap but it was really tiring for me,cos really laughed alot.. "CUSHY-CUSHY"??? LIKE what the heck is that? funny la..(btw that's what she calls the cushions..)ermm..a bit lame la..but seriously funny..haha..

from my experiences since the start of the year, teachers aren't really much of a difference from students la..they're fun to hang out with too...

so yeah, chasing ALL THE BLUES AWAY! cos that's what she taught me and that, i won't forget..Staying high all the way,not going to care about what anyone thinks..so long as i'm happy, nothing else matters...

I SHALL HAVE NO REGRETS WHATSOEVER.