Before i work on some math...

Let me write about today.
Hmm, had flower dissection for bio practical today. Okay la, quite interesting. I was so engrossed doing it -.- Hmm, chem? Did practical too. Titration as usual. While i was filling up the burette, mdm eio was like staring at me la! The reason? Ask me yourself! Haha! Jessica and i were like laughing like mad uh. Haiyo, mdm eio always disturb me!

Hmm, completed timed practice and went off to AVA to watch the auditions for BPian Idol. Omg, kian ann took part 0.0 No comments. HAHA.

So yeah, went home.

What i want, I ALWAYS get.

Because i chose not to.
I told you i'm being selfish.
Really, don't have to spare a thought for me. I don't think i'm worth it.
Because what i'm after, it's for me, and only i understand.

Hah. Asked nisa what she would do if she were in my shoes.
The answer i got- expected.
Breaking away. Painful, but i think it's worth it.
I'm sorry.

Hah! From 12, to 11. Then 9... And slowly, 8.
Minus 2... Left with 6 for some time. Then 5..
Now, you guys are the 'quads'.
I wonder what happened to the promise we made...

Okay, nevermind. A big portion of fault lies with me.

Hmm, i can predict what will happen after the Os are over. I'll be that sick loner- deluding myself into thinking that nothing's wrong. Hah. WHAT irony.

-Currently printing RGS add. maths prelim papers-

Hmmm. RGS. I wonder how life would have turned out for me if i had gone there. Or any other top-notch schools for that matter. Haha. One thing's for sure. No volleyball for me. Less distraction? Hah. Hmm, may not be a total bad thing. Could've have been better:) Hai. But you know, no regrets :D

Well, been going through a few files of late. Stuff of the past- how i miss some moments...
Realised how big an impact you created in me. Only now. Hah.
Sometimes, i feel like crying, thinking of the things you did, and how i'm treating you now. Why am i so blind?

Wooooo.

Okay..
Hmmmm. In the end, i went to study with nisa at wdlands library this morning. Somehow, i think i was only making use of her presence to add pressure on myself -.- Guess what? We spent close to 5hours doing work:) Initially, i wanted to ask her some stuff, but for some reasons, i could answer all of them just sitting in front of her! Hah. Weird.

Lost focus towards the end. HUNGRY. Haha!

Had tons of rubbish for late lunch, so dinner? I'll pass.
Sometimes, when my mp3 failed me, i'd start thinking. Thinking about the things i've had, the people i was surrounded by, and everything. And yeah, good things don't last. That's why, it's best, to prepare oneself long before the things are stripped off you. Hmm, at least, you'll be able to adapt? But it's selfish, isn't it? Hah. Well, that's why i prefer blasting my eyes with music and reading whatever shit that could distract me from having second thoughts. But you know, even so, there are times...

Hmmmmmmm. Going to be long weekend. New targets to reach :)

Oh well.

Sometimes, people get selfish.
I'm sorry, but i am.
I know i did say that i was worried everyone would let go of the memories that we shared, but i guess people change. Things change.
Not going to push the blame to circumstances.
I hope, if you guys had cared about me genuinely enough before, i really hope you'd let me be.
Don't ask why.

/For once, i felt so secured. A ray of light in complete darkness.

Hmm, woke up this morning thinking about yesterday.
It felt like a dream, somehow.
Well, didn't think i'd enjoy yesterday's talk this much. The words...
Made a big impact in me.

And the old folks... Sort of remind me why i had the will. Now i know.
Even though she's gone, i'll remember her. Those words. Is this all predestined?

If it is, this is where my story starts.

One quote: " Do that you think you cannot do."

-.- I'm pissed.
Suggest something la.

Zzzz. Forget it. You guys come up with a better plan. The designs- all rubbish.

Anyway, had prize presentation in school today. Well, it's damn funny uh. Haha. Okay, we lined up according to the "permission to leave class early" form. Cos standard one, always that arrangement. Sang national anthem, and said out pledge.. Then we waited for our names to be called. WELL, lingying very gan chiong eh! HAHA! The guy was adjsting the mike and she happily went up without waiting for her name to be announced! -.- HAHAHHA, and she claimed that i pushed her! Hah, it was a slight pat hao bu hao? I was laughing, of cos i tap la! Haha. So she just walked happily-.- I was calling her la, "Lingying! Wait wait wait!" But she kept on walking -.- Zzzzzz. HAHA. Mine was okay- no hiccups :) After farah's turn, all the order anyhow de. Called out ama then amanda went up, something like that. Omg, we were laughing like mad uh, even some of the teachers there, and amanda's classmates -.- Haha, BUT LY'S BLUNDER WAS THE BOMB! ahahaha.

Hmm, heard that the teachers in-charge will be treating us next week. Woooo.

To anyone who reads this, don't look for me during recess or after sch anymore. I won't go out.

Zzzzz.
Another day at home.
Almost done with sec3 math revision. Moving on to sec4 book :( My eyes are watery.
I'm tired.

Gah. Is there a way to do things (other than sleep-.-) without having to open my eyes??
If there is, tell me. SOS.

........................................

One word; SHUAI.
Damn shuai! OMG.

My gosh! Do you know how awkward it is for me to go through chapter17 of the bio book online, especially when reading under the male section -.-

Later my mum thinks i'm watching porn -.- Zzzzzzzzz.
Screwed.

Hmmmm, good morning everyone!
It's kind of early.

Okay, here to post about yesterday, Charis' birthday 'celebration'.
After doing the assignments on litespeed, asknlearn, heymath and whatnot, i went off to bugis to look for my sis. Then from there took mrt to boonlay. Upon reaching tanjong pagar stn, i realised that i was too early. Meeting time: 3.30pm. Me at tp: 2.30pm -.-

So walked around, was expecting more people la! But in the end, only farah, cy and guihua. Guihua was late! Only reaching at 4pm. Wah piang. She walked to banquet to find us. So initial plans of going icing room was changed to, primadeli -.- Zzzzz. Go all the way there to buy cake from primadeli.
Bought everything, then took bus to school. Gh had only $0.80 left -.- on top of the fact that she had yet to eat anything. So i started crapping with her. Told her to go back to banquet and eat my leftovers! HAHAAH. She pei he me la omg. Damn funny uh. I remember laughing like crazy.

So we reached, and i realised that junhao didn't come for training. Charis, on the other hand, had yet to come down, cos she had choir practice. And the newly-formed bgirls were doing something. Okay la! Got to give them credit for making the first ball drill look so not like it! Haha. So I thought of some drills. Okay one. It was already quite late when i reached. So yeah, did that for awhile.

Then suddenly, they sang birthday song. I saw charis. Oh yeah, did i mention that i was the informer? Immediately reached out for my phone and called the rest. I was like, "Lai le, Lai le!" -.- Haha.

So yeah, the birthday cake came in, mr manaf came in too. Training was over, and we ate cake.
Went over to LJS for their dinner, and then to cotton on? To shop! Haha. Okay, everyone was like trying shoes -.-

Finally, left at 8.20? Yeah, went home with hua-jie :D

[the pics will come in later]

My eyes are watering...
Personally, i don't like the idea of staring at the laptop for 6-7hours man.

Going to bugis in awhile. Hah, after my completing my malay assignment.
Then to jp bah.
Oh, and by the way,

Happy Birthday CHARIS!
The text that i sent you, give it some thought alright? Jiayou bah :D

It's e-learning day tmr.
Yay- cos i get to sleep a little later.
Damn- cos i'd be tempted to watch dramas instead of doing my work -.-

I'm tired.
Played badminton till i got a blister on my index finger :(

Firstly, congrats to nanyang for having gotten the national champs.
Should have been....o-u....
Aiya, forget it.

We got fourth. According to caihong, we're useless. Yaya, we're useless.
So useless till you forgot that we did make history even with fourth placing. I feel like cursing someone! -.-

Well, it's okay. The prize presentation was hilarious. Hah, we reached just in time for it. Why? Cos the bus driver, for some reason, brought us all the way to sengkang -.- You tell me, yiochukang=sengkang?? Zzzz. In the end, the great me led the way :D I was so close to snatching the steering wheel! Haha, jk. And well, just in the nick of time.
The guy who led us to our positions was blur sotong omg! We were the first to walk, and almost made twice the round that we should be going. Thank goodness i was alert and stopped! HAHAH, xinni could still continue following him! Haha, but she did turn and look, so only that guy walked all the way to the other end. He stood there for 20sec before deciding to 'come back to us' ! Hah. I was laughing like nuts -.- Super funny!

Xinni still made friends with him -.- He resembled weide, pretty much. Hmm.

So yeah, mood kind of spoilt somewhere after.

Back to school. Played ball for awhile and homed.

Wow, tired.

I've wasted the day. Argh.
You know what, no training means more time for me to think. And that's not a good thing. Hah, sucks uh. Cos this is like so distracting. To me. Yes, I can't stop myself from thinking. Think and think and think and think and think.

What's up with newly-'formed' couples these days? I have a issue with this man. It's freaking annoying when every single corner that you look at, there'll be at least one somewhere. Getting out of hand man. Trust me, i'm not against it. I'm just not used to the sudden change. It's too, abrupt?

Zzzzzz. Rambles rambles.
Oh yeah, by the way, i'm sitting with ade now. Guess how much energy i have to gather before lessons each day? Omg, i can just die sitting there man! Cos she makes me laugh at everything. And just now, she used jovine's jacket and put each one of the sleeves around our shoulders -.- Siying was laughing like mad.

Weird. For once, this post is not about volleyball. I guess, it will never be that way again. Ever.

HAHAHA!
My blog song startled you right!
:D HAHAHAH.

Well today, went out. First to lot1 then to queensway.
Some bastard prank called me but my dad came to my rescue :D
Woooo. Ayam can be very evil.

I'm so tired now.

The new chapter of my life. Hah. Yesssss.

As i stare at the monitor, reading my juniors' blogs, i feel so... empty.
To be honest, i was one of those who couldn't wait for everything to end.
But now...

Hah, what irony.

Tmr- the end of nationals.

Hah, to be honest, i don't have any regrets. Yes, we did waste the chance of being crowned as 2009 National Champ, but Top4 is really good enough. For me, that is.
Well, i got both my birthday wishes! *Someone reminded me* So i guess, the birthday treat to Seoul Garden on my birthday wasn't a bad idea at all! Haha, we shoul do that more often you know :D
-Westzone Champ
-National Top4

I'm contented. I apologise if i had let anyone down, but really, I don't have regrets.
Even if there is, it would be for the fact that we're going to have to separate soon. Oh my, i never expected that i would be this attached to the team.

After the match, went back to school for late lunch. Crapped, cry, and laughed till we're half-dead. We acted drunk. Okay, I acted drunk -.- But seriously, i was vey touched at my teammates' strong emotions. I felt so, hmmmm. My heart sank.

I guess, if anyone even remembers me two-three years down the road, i'll be remembered as "naggy lecturer". Haha! A few juniors asked if i would be coming back. All i said was, "I don't know. I don't wosh to make empty promises..." Maybe, who knows, no one would ever see me again? hah.

I'm eating cake and chips. How blissful! Hahah.
I'm happy. I'm happy.
Nothing can change my mood now. It's the ultimate.

All along, i thought things would never work out between us. The hatred that we thought we had towards one another, the over-competitveness, the ego.. But it did, in the end.

To be honest, i was afraid that I would be losing what i had, by staying on. Worse still, i was afraid to be disappointed time and again. I couldn't wait to get everything done and over with.

Now, with the twist of fate, everything seemed to be going our way. All of a sudden, the past conflicts that we had gone through become a stepping stone for us to get closer. Without me realising, this has once again, open up my heart, to love others like my own. This bond... I don't know how to describe it.

Nothing can stop us now. NOTHING.