Hah. Woke up at 6.20 this morning.
Made breakfast and sat in front of the laptop. Was watching the vb videos of.. us.
Against phs. And i could still feel the nerve-wreck.

Wow. The emotions that were once evoked were too strong i guess. It still lingers everytime i recall those times. Hah, and i realised that some people just like to add tension to the already-tensed atmosphere by screaming for nothing! What. Was. That. All. About?

Zzzzzz. One week is gone. And with it, Math, A.Math & English papers too.
It's now time to burn all the arithmetic-related pieces of crap and the heaps of EL notes and w/s. (Aww, i think i'm starting to miss math already!)

Two weeks. Five days of exam papers.
Had a chat with ms tay yesterday and she asked me how the papers have been so far. I just smiled (sheepishly) and she said, " OH! That's cos the humanities papers are not being tested yet!"

o________o Thanks uh! Hahahaa.

Yeah, quite true la actually.

So, here's to TWO WEEKS of memorising!
I will survive.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.

Okay, i don't know why i'm so happy. At least, i think i am.
Math paper was okay. HAHA, I'M KIDDING.

It was...................... I don't know what to say. But i'll have you know that it's going to be difficult attaining an A1. Gahh. But i think i did good, (since i totally couldn't find a question to scrutinise), I am trying very hard to stay humble and not get cocky, cos i really don't know if i can get A1.

The most secure way to go about it is to score full marks- possible, but not for me.

Eee, i'm rambling.

Gahh. Tomorrow's Add. Math :D Gonna do good! Gonna do good! (encouraging myself, not being cocky)

Hah.

You know, i think there's something going on. Saw mdm eio today and she said, "You'd better get an A1 for my Chem." - Zooming into the "MY CHEMISTRY"- What the....... Okay, she scared me. Then, just before math paper, i saw ms aza and she said, "You got to do well uh. Must do well." - These people are scaring me. Just what is it that's going on?? I think something's wrong. I can sense it.

Hah, but eh, "NO STRESS, Eat chocolate" :)
-My new catchphrase.

Hmm.
I realized that this is the only place where i can ramble about my day and stuff.
Get things off my chest. Ha, the word "friends" seems to have no meaning to me at this point, you know.

Well, i've come to admit that i have a fear. A fear that had developed when i least expected it to. A fear that I thought didn't even exist, at least in yours truly. Fuck it, i wish to overcome, but.. It's like internal conflict at the point of time.

To be honest, my hands kept trembling yesterday, throughout the course of examination. It's even shaking now, as i type all this. Why? Why, is it trembling? It's nothing like i've been through before, and i'm really afraid that it'll consume me. No, i must overcome this.

Hai, such a weakling.
I am made to crack under pressure. All along, i thought i was stronger? Hmm. It was the English Paper yesterday by the way. Let's just keep our fingers crossed, and hope for the best. I was calmer when sitting for paper2, and whether fortunate or unfortunately for me, it was easy. Meaning, everyone will have no problem scoring for it. So it'll boil down to paper1, the screwed one! Hah. Freak.

Nevermind nevermind. Let it be a lesson learned.

Am going to do great for Math later on. I really hope so.
But having said all that, i am proud that i did my best to calm myself. So whatever the result, i have no regrets.

Go kick ass, fara!

Hai. Sad life.

You know, i went to watch the girls' training yesterday. But it was totally dampening. Cos the feeling's really gone. Gone for good, i suppose. I was literally standing there, watching them train like i was some spectator, whom no one recognised. The worst part just got to be the moment when i saw the setters making the same mistakes as i did, but not being able to openly guide them. Or even comment for that matter. Struggling with inner self. You know, like, you see someone attempting to commit suicide but you don't dare say a word, that kinda thing?

Aiya. Don't know la.

I think i need to make more friends. Be more sociable or something. Cos i'm feeling that feeling again. Hai.

Stay up with me tonight..........