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Listening to Tong hua - Guang Liang "Hai... I'll trust you forever, with all my heart. Because when you reach out to me, my heart gives way. I melt... But shit. This is wrong. Yet, i don't fear of possible betrayal. I don't mind being a product of manipulation. Because i enjoy the warmth that you bring me. And I want to cherish you forever. Though it's one-sided. " -somewhere in me So many ants crawling around. I wonder why. (With so much rubbish lying around in the room) Hai. One by one, they're leaving me here. All the laughter, joy and the happy happy heeehee-haha days seem to be distant. Somehow i miss the times when i had no worries, but the scoldings from ate alma, winnie, and everyone else. Even nam found her happiness out there, following the path that su has gone before her. And though i left things out of place before she left (maybe driving her into quitting idk), i really, really miss her alot. But i know she'll never feel the same, since her heart is busy with her new stead. I know where i stand, and maybe i was the one who shook you off in the first place. I didn't listen to you. And that bus trip on 14 was probably the last thing i'll remember us doing. Oh well. And maybe, winnie is right. I must learn to let go. Let go of all the things that i can't afford to think about anymore. I've always thought and worried about everything- be it past, present or future. And the weight of the whole world..... It's not for me to shoulder. I'm only 17. Remember? All i ever wanted was to stay happy. But can i? While worrying about everything? When it doesn't even help? Darn. April's right too. I must enjoy what i do, since i'm doing it already, be it on my own accord or otherwise. It won't help if i don't, you know. And it's true that nothing works if you hate doing what you do. It's mentally tiring to be constantly looking for something which is already lost. Solution? Stop the negativity. Be strong, and carry on. Because from what i've learned, even if i think of them, they don't think of me. |
